just delete this from my lifeblog!

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Have you ever felt so embarrassed till your face is fully numbed; leaving you to think that you’ve gotten 10x chubbier? Your cheeks suddenly so red and warm as though you just got sun burnt? Your lips so swollen like it just got stung by a bee? And for the first time ever, you actually realize that you HAVE eyebrows, but are somehow annoyingly… sharp?

Guess it’s a no surprise to all… But I have… A couple of times… most of the few times… Oh God… more than a thousand times!!! =”<

Sometimes, it happened at the time of the embarrassment itself, other times are a short while afterwards, and often times happen a long time after the occurring situation. Although the period of time varies but the feeling is however, still, mutual. And the worse thing is, you cant even erase those memories because they kept on coming back. The more you try to get away from it, the more you’ll think of it thus the harder it gets to forget about it. So the only solution left is to just let it be…

*background sound : let it be by the beatles*

I remember back when I was in primary school, Standard One to be more precise, there were these bunch of boys sitting at the back of the class and among them all, there was this one boy, his name was Azwan, if I’m not mistaken—came up with that name coz I do remember his nick which was AWAN. He was fair, quite cute if compared with the other kids.

So, obviously, I had a mission of impressing him so that he’d notice me and we’d become friends after that. But there were obstacles…

First :I was sitting at the most front of the class My mom sat me there on my first day of school…plus because I am, since young, --vertically challenged… I don’t have a reason to go at the back.

Second :I had no plans at all on what to do. But I do know that I have to do something that would make him notice that I’m referring my acts on him alone but I know that I shouldnt make it obvious to avoid future teases from fellow classmates.

Thirdly :I am kind of scared if my teacher noticed it and would report to my mom.

Therefore, determined to fulfill the mission mine, and not get caught at the same time, I’d wait till the Bahasa Melayu teacher’s session ends.

“SEMUA BANGUN! TERIMA KASIH CIKGU!” (All rise, thank you teacher)

That was my queue!!

Without further ado, yes, I didn’t sit back on my chair, I tighten up my half ponytail, grabbed my 2B pencil and sharpener, flared my mini skirt, walked towards the noisy boys -and a prince-, and -with a loud enough( for them to hear) voice- said :

*ehem* EXCUSE ME BOYSS~ walked past them with at a pace of one step per second with my hips going EXTENSIVELY to the left and right, left hand on the hips while the other held the stationeries, eyes on the prince, flirted with a smile and a wink, and headed my way to the rubbish bin to “sharp my pencil”..

What the fudge……

What the hell was I thinking?

Now that I think of it, it was such a stupid act! No wonder he moved to Kuala Lumpur the next week! I always feel like pulling each grass from the ground every time I remember this part of my life…

ARRRGGHH!!!

Heehee…..

Well, am off to Kuala Lumpur in an hours’ time…Sending daddy off to Surabaya. Who knows, I might bumped into Awan. Hopefully I don’t make a fool out of myself again this time. LOL.

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Girls like boys! no matter what.. =P

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Life is a wonder...

Last night, a friend of mine, known for his "somewhat-bad-boy" wannabe..XP attitude; told me the reason he is still single was because, according to him, good girls are hard to find nowadays. In contrast with his situation, i know someone who could hardly kill a fly, that would... correction... that had dump a girl, just because she is a good lass...

unbarivabria!

;-)

Parental Guidance (PG)

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Keropok Lekor Terengganu …..is the definition of “YUM!”
It is best eaten when the keropok lekor is fried, hot, and dipped in its sauce. For those of you who doesn’t know what keropok lekor is , it is a Malaysian delicacy once only served for the poor that is of a sausage shape and is made out of fish and flour. The sauce- merely chilies; pounded, and mixed, with vinegar. And a sip of hot mint Arabic tea after that, completes a perfect evening high tea. * closes my eyes while breathing in the sea breeze*… hmmm… YUM….

But not all keropok lekors are delicious. The delicious ones are only made from the east of peninsular Malaysia. More specifically, Terengganu. More more specifically, the one nearby my house. Heeeee..

A friend once said that it is not recommended for girls to eat keropok lekor publicly especially with the presence of men i.e BOYFRIENDS as our motion of eating the keropok will somehow ‘amuse’ them in certain ways. Frankly speaking, I really don’t care of what you think. And even if their 'sausages' are far much juicier, I think I’ll just stick to what I am normal to. Short, dark, wrinkled, soft , steamy and not forgetting “fishy”… NGAAAP! And I am fully contented … …

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….LOOOOOOOOL!!! I don’t know why, but the more my mom scolds me for giving out dirty jokes, the more I am prone to create new ones!!My dad will always share his laugh with me… if I don’t get too carried away… MOM’S NO FUN..boo hoo! XP

Anywho, I don’t know if you have realized this but, I seem to talk A LOT about food lately…really.. I mean like a lot a lot… Does the amount of food in my blog resemble my physical appearance of my tummy?? .. kay...heard that... sad.. huuu… T_T… Its not my fault food kept on jumping and diving into my mouth like the Olympic athletes… My mouth is just so irresistible… Specially my pouting, cherry flavored, lips… wink… Gosh, ovulation period could really make me a bit horny… hmmm…. Curse my hormones! Damn you, FSH and LH!!
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Part Two

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16^th January 2010

It was my 23^rd birthday.. *smile*. I woke up, the door of my room opened with my mom wishing me with many returns of the day in a singing tone… Okay.. you definitely woke me up mom…

You know what? Lets just make things short so its less draggy and more straight to the point…

Since it was my birthday, I had planned to cook for dinner. Made the preparations the day before so what was left was just the cooking. The menu?

“Spezial Kuzeen Ala FghanSay via Cheff Ameegha Zee Ghett”

(Special French cuisine by Chef Ameera the Great)

~Appetizer~

Bruschetta

~Main Dish~

Boeuf Bourguignon, Roast chicken,

Mashed Potatoes and Salad (Courtesy of my sisters)

~Dessert~

Bavarian Strawberrry Cream

^_^…

They tasted awesome like absolutely the best food you’ve EVER tasted !!!!

*pause*

hmmph, I cant always live in denial, so here goes…..

It sucked…. My Bavarian Cream tasted more of an expiry yogurt left in the most unreachable location of the refrigerator for at least 5 years than Julia Child’s Bavarian Raspberry … *sigh*

But lets not get our self esteem low for too long… I saied “IT”…IT SUCKED…refering to the dessert alone… but the main dish was a success ! XD … The bruschetta was marvelous, and the boeuf and roast chicken were incredibly delicious (I.e : edible… =).heee….) So, along side of today’s blog, I’ll enclose some pictures of the things that I cooked to blog with it…

And about my birthday cake… they got me Secret Recipe’s…

far less poisonous than my baked one.

bruschetta

birthday cake
bavarian strawberry cream

roast chicken

boeuf bourginion

And here, I’d like to take the opportunity to thank everyone that had helped me made my birthday dinner happen. Credits to Maha, Alia, Fatin, Mama, Baba and Sittu. And not forgetting Nadia; tho you were away but my thought of beating your tremendous Roast chicken was there.. you win this time..grrrr!!!

So guys...

I’m now 23!!!!

*smiles*

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Could this be Part One??

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Home is bliss… spent my weekend here and going back to Kwantanamo this evening… *saaad!!*

Although I know , my face tells that am no interesting girl and that I have no interesting life line, but let me just share with you *the people who finds me much less boring..hmmph! * some jest *my life is a joke anyway* on my weekend, spent at home…with my loving family…and best friend…

Well, you guys DO know that last Saturday was my birthday right? Asking politely with a smile while pointing a dagger under your nose… Good! Well, there wasn’t a grand party nor were there even balloons but just a small gathering of 8 persons, including me, having dinner prepared by yours truly. =).. So, ready to begin with my birthday story? oh yes you are! *wink wink*

January, 15^th 2010

Okay, so its one day before my birthday, heeee~~ jz a quicky

Arrived in Terengganu at approximately 1 pm. Went to Giant to get groceries for my French dish the next day. Fatin made a sudden decision to come to my place. Baked my birthday cake..OH!!! THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!! This I MUST elaborate!!

Do you know that there’s a difference between almond extract and almond flavor?? YES… a HUGE difference!!!! So, I put ¼ cup of Almond flavor to the batter … big mistake!! It made the cake taste like a bakery with CLOROLEX essence… T_T .. And bout the smell... well, do you know how the fly repellent smells like? Mmm.. yeah.. well its like that…My cake was a disaster... I am partially a failure.... to almost everything... okay, thats only me being mellow dramatic and asking for sympathy and pitifulness...

And after that I had Mc Donalds for dinner before I went up to sleep…

I would like to continue with the sequence of next day on the same post but I guess I’ve pretty much bore you… So lets just stop here for the moment… and when you feel like you have time to kill, you may read the continuation to my story which i havent finished writing it yet .. =)

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Exorcism to my phone is inneed!!

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So I went to the clinic……finally…. And the doctor gave me prescriptions of antibiotic cream and penicillin tablets for four days…. All the worries on my ”nose bleed” were worthless… Its just a friggin pimple in the nose…. But it did hurt like shuuuz alryt!! So I was not really exaggerating my sorrownity * if there’s even a word* …. sorrowfulness … hmmm…

Anywho, when I made my not-so-happy visit to the doctor just now, a fellow classmate I greeted. He was waiting for his name to be called by the pharmacist for his medication. I never remember ever talking to him before, although I do realize that we have been in the same class for almost 5 years, so I thought, let’s just make a change, you know, I HAVE to, someday later, stop being a snobbish flitch…

so I asked him; “You’re sick?” yes that’s the best I can do, stop complaining!! And he, surprisingly, was being such a friendly chap. I never thought he would actually elaborate on his FUNGAL infection… eeeww…but kesian.. :(

Note to those who go swimming at public pools: … Just don’t go swimming there … specially on rainy season.

Furthermore, I cant believe he actually have a sweet smile… it was so innocent… he was like a boy… though his size might not really be “equivalent” to my characteristic on him …

Back to the start of my hellish day, as I woke up from bed this morning, my Motorola phone seemed to be too… just as I open the flip to look at the time, the phone start snapping pictures….NON STOP!! And the freakiest thing is, everything was still dark then, so my phone automatically set its camera view to night-mode vision… Let’s imagine you, in my shoe, for a while….

Its barely even 4 a.m, why the hell was I awake at that time, just don’t ask, It was barely 4, the lights in my room were still out, and my possessed phone was snapping pictures like nobody else’s business… And as I moved the phone up and down, left and right, still, it continued snapping… And all I can see from the screen view of my so ‘suddenly’ night-vision camera, was my hung, hooded, cardigan… How freaky is THAT???

And on top of all, I had a Hollywood-scary movie nightmare last night. PLUS I watched “PROM NIGHT” right before I go to bed!!! The only thing that was missing in my room that time, was a murderer… which I thank God he wasn’t there… Love you God,muahx!! Oh, and about my dream, well, I dreamt that me and my parents and my sisters and a few strangers (who were suppose to be friends of ours*but I seriously never had seen them before*) were being followed by a few zombies… yup ... ZOMBIES… how childish is that?? But the word ‘childish’ didn’t seem to appear during the moment I was in the dream… it was so so scary I swear… but I do wish to have those kinda dreams again…. But not any time soon. But the feeling of waking up in bed feeling all exhausted and breathless is pretty much amazing… Though waking up with the man of your dreams would be pretty much.. better… =)

Hematology class in ten… toodles!

p/s: Quiz was cancelled ^_^

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O_o

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It turns out that Mr. Dan Humphrey (as he proclaimed himself to be) says that my blogs are sooo for insiders and that he couldnt even understand most of them. And plus he wouldnt watch movies especially with titles of girls,(how discriminating) and a character of a ‘a husband to die for’.. well .. at least comment me on MY BLOG rather than sms-ing me on my phone! At least there’re entries on my comment box.. ;_( .. God, when did I ever become this pathetic?? Plus stop playing futsal at night… Its not good for your lungs… I think…. And stop smoking too… Be grateful that im being a bitter yet still a great friend to you today Mr!! It doesn’t come that often!

Plus, Julie & Julia IS the best movie ever and I pray that it’ll get 15 Oscars for the movie!!!! Hmmmph!

. Blair .

Here come the sun du du du dum

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So I started my day quite early today… Thought of finishing my errands for the weekend but ended up here. In front of my mini Viao… BLOGGING…

On another tab of my google chrome, there’s a link to my gmail…

Inbox = 0 , last email received = January 5^th 2010 , “Dave Ward has requested to follow on your Twitter!” *sigh*

Doesn’t anybody forwards email anymore? Or compose email instead of sending them on Facebook ‘message’??

Oh well, at least, I could always count on, Mr.Sekiya , a senior Japanese citizen I met on the lrt back in 2004. He would never fail to email me greetings and I like it when writes about his interesting life as a traveler! The pictures he sends are always so amazing… He’s such a darl… Same goes to his wife and cute grandchildren. I wish to meet him again.

As for my long lost friends, and also the new ones, I’m trying to find them on blogger and twitter… Since I’ve deactivated my facebook account, maybe just for the time being…or it could also be permanently…,I find it hard to get back in touch with them… So currently, I’m like doing this Sherlock Holmes investigation, trying to find each and one of my friends… Does anyone has a better way of solving this task??

Alryty.. time to get myself prepared to study! I still have A LOT to cover for my hematology subject, and tomorrow is my first quiz! Oh God, please don’t flunk me! T______T

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Almond chocalate cake... yummy...

Having to watch “Julie & Julia” for the 18^th time, I am ready to admit that I’m totally obsessed with the movie… and the characters. With that, for my 23^rd birthday, I plan to have myself to cook for dinner. I am planning to make bruchetta as the appetizer, both roast chicken and Boeuf Bourguignon as main dish and Bavarian raspberry cream for dessert. As for my birthday cake, I’d bake a chocolate cream almond. Just like in the movie. And I do not want any guests to come over on my birthday except for my family members. 6 of them. Not more, not less. And lets not forget my birthday present… In the movie, Eric bought her a pearl necklace, though its not the real deal but it’s the thought that counts. But that’s Julie Powell’s story. I don’t even have my lil’ own Eric… Therefore, PS3 is enough to replace the pearl necklace. I think it’s not a bad deal. Don’t you think? ;-P

Always Coca Cola

Its not fever… nor cold.. am an alluring virgin still (which means that am not pregnant) and am not under pressured… but somehow, I have a sudden crazy thirst crave over … guess what??

Coke! (Coke-A-Co-Lah?? ) YES!! COCA COLA!!

*background song*

Whenever there’s a pool there’s always a flirt

Whenever there is school there’ll always be homework

Whenever there’s a beat there’s always a drum

Whenever there’s fun there’s always COCA COLA

Yeah…

Du du du du dup Du dup dup du

Du du du du dup

Always COCA COLA yeah…

*end background song*

Why coke?! Am not usually a gassy drink fan… am more of an isotonic girl.. or milk… or fresh juice drinker..wat ever else… but not coke… .. .. * taking a deep breath from my confused enthusiasm and thinking… while tapping my index finger on count of 1 tap per 2 seconds* …

… … is this a sign of me becoming a teenager????? Wha thaa…come again...?

ALAS!! I’m a qualified teenager!!! Weeeeeeeeehooo! V(^o^)V

All my life, I’ve been called “Grandma” by my sisters, mom and cousins.. and now, I want all of you to look at me !! see me, very closely!!! Who’s the Nana now, huh?? YOU ARE!!! YOU!!! ARE!!!

Joy to Holy God, one is never too old to become young again! Being 22, and moving towards 23 in 9 days, won’t even budge me a lil from where I am standing now… The youth in me will never die and I will ALWAYS BE young at heart!!!

I didn’t just DRINK the damn coke alryt... for crying out loud, I CRAAAAAVED for it !!!

^________________________________^

7^th January 2010

8.49 pm

to clear things up

As you can see... the first 5 posts were posted on the same day... well actually,the 1st post was written on the 3rd of January..followed by the second post on the 4th January, 3rd and 4th post- 5th January and the story of Julie & Julia was written today... in the morning... after watching the movie for the 4th day since the night before..... had some internet glitch so it was put in my draft.. :) .. oryty... got to go.. bus coming in 5 mins..

An inspirational story

Julie & Julia.

The perfect movie to start the year with! Its about reaching your goal! About a fulltime government servant, Julie Powell experimenting all 512 Julia Child’s French cooking in just 365 days. Amazing..

And Julie’s husband; Eric; he’s just the sweetest husband on earth, it made you wanna rape him! *gosh..i love it when inner self speaks… its so pure.. :p* … he’s just soo :)…just take a look at him! he’s a low-paid editor, he’s funny, ever so encouraging, and he’s cute .. I like his dopy eyes, his nose, his face, his frame, height –its medium sized (Italian? or of French blood maybe?), his tempting lips, shiny brown curly hair, thick eyebrows, his smell of tobacco and citrus mixed with apr.., HOLD IT!!! He doesn’t have thick eyebrows nor smell of tobacco citrus etc…. but he has an eating habit that had taken me aback and made me smile and want to hug my Cameron Highlands’ strawberry pillow...:) ... it is when his nose wrinkled while he eats the McDonalds chicken burger French toast, …the french toast, Julie made for dinner. If you have the dvd , you should check minute 13:54 … he was like “this is good” and ngaaap! Ate the toast away… there! See it?? his nose wrinkled! again..again.. at minute 13:54, he was like “this is good” and ngaaap! See that!! .. alryt2… enough about that already... But nonetheless, It’s a movie worth watching. Plus its based on 2 true stories; Julie Powell’s and Julia Child’s. Hmm, if I were a movie critic, I’d give it an A of 8.9 over 10. Brava!

Now I really can’t wait to go back home and cook!

Boeuf Bourguignon anyone?

*sigh* (‘-.-)

Something learnt from Francesca Bruni

“Give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me, I would love him alone and forever.”

Well said…

it getting hot in here.. and i cant take off my clothes...

It’s a hot day today… and in the past 3 hours, Dr.Tariqq’s class killed every second of joy to my life… I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIS TEACHING but I don’t want it today!!! Plzzzzzz!!! Dun you get it??I’m tired, sleepy and Its hot!! Hotter than in Dhaka I swear!! Plzz stop teaching and release me!! Let me go!! For I cant stand it anymore!!! (Shouldn’t this be on my twitter instead??)

speak up!

Arguments… Have you ever had arguments for the silliest matter you can ever imagine? Sometimes it made me wonder why I argue … with my sisters or friends.. foes or lover… Am I realy dissatisfied with the current situation? Or is it just the WANT of picking fights with everyone else around me? Wouldn’t it be better if I just keep my dissatisfaction to myself?

Its not a big deal anyway.. Its just my favorite soda …(that I’ve craved for days)… being drunk by a selfish, unbeneficiary parasite(from how I may have viewed him) who has been getting on to my nerves for the past few years… :) … … *faking a smile*

the most mature nd rasional thing to do is to keep silent ryt? Let it be… the soda has now turned into a form of poisonous smelly gas anyway… *blekh!*

na’ah.. NOT RIGHT!.

go argue… stand for your right… express your distraught … do what ever is necessary to tell them you despise their acts… that’s the ONLY way they could know how you feel and what wrongs they’ve done.. And if they ever tell you how much they hate you for that..well at least they hate you for who you are; not by what you pretend to be … (in other words they’ll hate you anyway)… … …

but … not all arguments ahave to be companied by hatred and anger… I didn’t ask you to become a monster… try to be gentle while arguing (unless he’s the selfish, unbeneficiary parasite…or if she’s your sister being stupidly annoying.).

coz from what I have realized is, by arguing you’d get to understand the other person better… we’d get to know the reason, why they do it in the first place.. it’s a form of communication therapy to express and deliver our anger/dissatisfactory in the correct manner… yes... this time around, I am saying that arguing is a good way of solving problems… one of “the”; that is…( whats this?? You’re so confused!!!)

well..based on my not so well experienced life, I find arguing is the one of the best ways to read his/her mind… if you don’t argue than you would never know or learn about anything… If you keep things to yourself, you’ll never know the other side’s explanation… what if you got it the wrong way… what if he/she didn’t mean to do so? Lets take the soda tale as an example…

The soda. That can of soda was left on the dining table, untouched, for the past 1 hour. Just as Princess Wanda came back from her fencing lesson, she straight away went to the kitchen to reach for HER soda, when she suddenly saw her new step sister taking the last gulp of the drink from the can. Now, this is what happens if she kept quiet.

~[Princess Wanda : *in her mind* “THAT WITCH!! First she stole my dad away from me and now my soda?? Hope she dies after drinking it” … alongside with a fake smile… ]~

Conclusion : dats sooo immature… :P

And this is wat happened if she speak up:

~[ Princess Wanda : “Yo Chica.. that’s my drink… you shud at least ask permission for it”

Step sister : “Oh my, thought it was mine.. guess I was wrong..too bad…la di da…la di dai” … walks away… ]~

THAT B*TCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay2… there’s another possibility…

~[ Princess Wanda : “Yo lolita.. that’s my drink… you shud at least ask permission for it”

Step sister : “Oh my, thought it was mine.. guess I was wrong..well mine should still be in the icebox…I’ll serve it to you..chilled…with a glass full of ice if you want… oh and how bout having pizza with it?? There’s nothing better than having chilled coke with freshly baked pizza … J ” *nudging and winking* ]~

SWELL!!!

See… all you need is to confront.. and argue…

uurrgh...i hate myself…and I love you…

pleasant dreams all..