"Ask and its given..."

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Raising up boys...

As usual, the other day, on the way back from the city, to kill time on the bus from staring at people, my friend and I would talk about one of our favorite topics: "Raising up children".

Background: I do not have brothers. I grew up playing with girls almost 90% of my life. My guys cousins lives far away from where I stayed, so the chance of us meeting would only be on Eid.

I said to him that I could handle girls. InsyaAllah, that wouldnt be a problem to me. My plan for raising up my children would be; if theyre girls, I'll just raise them up just as my parents raised me. But for boys, well I dont have experience with them. I can play with them true. Teach them a bit or two. But I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to understand them. Their thinking, their biological changes- theoretically I might know, but I think it'll be as much as my dad says he understands women going through their menses. Hmm.. He understand it fully but he doesnt experient it himself; therefore, he doesnt fully KNOW whats going on with us. - I think.

And so I told that friend of mine that if I were to have boys (insyaAllah), I'll just leave them to their father. I'll feed them right, clothe them, play with them, bring them to school but the rest i think I'll surrender to the papa.

But his advice opened up my mind...

"No.. You have to think like this, a working father would only have limited time with their children. The only times they may spend time together are during Subuh (max 2 hours before going to work), and from Maghrib till Isha'. The rest of the times the boys will be with you. If you rely on only your husband and let them be on their own, they'll have no guide. Whatmore whilst growing up. They need guidance. Educate them as much as you know. You dont need to know everything. "

Yeah... what was I thinking.. It is right, I dont NEED to know everything..They'll make me understand the things I dont, I'm sure. Just need to be patient. I could actually learn a lot from them.