"Ask and its given..."

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

just delete this from my lifeblog!


Have you ever felt so embarrassed till your face is fully numbed; leaving you to think that you’ve gotten 10x chubbier? Your cheeks suddenly so red and warm as though you just got sun burnt? Your lips so swollen like it just got stung by a bee? And for the first time ever, you actually realize that you HAVE eyebrows, but are somehow annoyingly… sharp?

Guess it’s a no surprise to all… But I have… A couple of times… most of the few times… Oh God… more than a thousand times!!! =”<

Sometimes, it happened at the time of the embarrassment itself, other times are a short while afterwards, and often times happen a long time after the occurring situation. Although the period of time varies but the feeling is however, still, mutual. And the worse thing is, you cant even erase those memories because they kept on coming back. The more you try to get away from it, the more you’ll think of it thus the harder it gets to forget about it. So the only solution left is to just let it be…

*background sound : let it be by the beatles*

I remember back when I was in primary school, Standard One to be more precise, there were these bunch of boys sitting at the back of the class and among them all, there was this one boy, his name was Azwan, if I’m not mistaken—came up with that name coz I do remember his nick which was AWAN. He was fair, quite cute if compared with the other kids.

So, obviously, I had a mission of impressing him so that he’d notice me and we’d become friends after that. But there were obstacles…

First :I was sitting at the most front of the class My mom sat me there on my first day of school…plus because I am, since young, --vertically challenged… I don’t have a reason to go at the back.

Second :I had no plans at all on what to do. But I do know that I have to do something that would make him notice that I’m referring my acts on him alone but I know that I shouldnt make it obvious to avoid future teases from fellow classmates.

Thirdly :I am kind of scared if my teacher noticed it and would report to my mom.

Therefore, determined to fulfill the mission mine, and not get caught at the same time, I’d wait till the Bahasa Melayu teacher’s session ends.

SEMUA BANGUN! TERIMA KASIH CIKGU!” (All rise, thank you teacher)

That was my queue!!

Without further ado, yes, I didn’t sit back on my chair, I tighten up my half ponytail, grabbed my 2B pencil and sharpener, flared my mini skirt, walked towards the noisy boys -and a prince-, and -with a loud enough( for them to hear) voice- said :

*ehem* EXCUSE ME BOYSS~ walked past them with at a pace of one step per second with my hips going EXTENSIVELY to the left and right, left hand on the hips while the other held the stationeries, eyes on the prince, flirted with a smile and a wink, and headed my way to the rubbish bin to “sharp my pencil”..

What the fudge……

What the hell was I thinking?

Now that I think of it, it was such a stupid act! No wonder he moved to Kuala Lumpur the next week! I always feel like pulling each grass from the ground every time I remember this part of my life…



Well, am off to Kuala Lumpur in an hours’ time…Sending daddy off to Surabaya. Who knows, I might bumped into Awan. Hopefully I don’t make a fool out of myself again this time. LOL.


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