Wednesday, January 30, 2013
the World is not enough...
Have you ever wondered to yourself, what have you done to get the good things in life? I mean like to me, I recently asked myself like "what DID I do till I'm so loved like this..?". heeheeheehee...*perasan* ..just kidding..
Please dear readers..(if there're even any)... this is not a form of bragging.. Alhamdulillah.. I really appreciate these blessings and as greedy as I can be I'd also like to have them coming more frequently..
But sometimes (seriously), when I get something so precious, i feel shy receiving it.. really.. coz i dont think i deserve it .. (but in the end i do accept them anyways.. ) but sometimes I do feel that I havent done enough to receive the blessings that was given to me. Alhamdulillah :_)..
Frankly, I'm not the best muslim nor am I the best daughter that I could be to my parents, what more a good human being. I know myself and you do not need to be two faced with me. I'm the one LIVING my body. the reason why I said that is because sometimes, some people just say things to make me feel better but that actually means; YOU DONT KNOW ME AT ALL!!
There are times when I'm even shy and gets so embarrassed to say "Thank you, God".. because all I do is receiving.. What to give back, I dont know. Everything seemed so little to compare to what I've gotten.
If I say Alhamdulillah 1 million times also it wouldnt be good enough... (coz along the way..maybe by time I reach the 12th time saying "Alhamdulillah" , my mind will wonder elsewhere already... THAT is why friends, as we dzikr, quantity is not whats important.. but quality is..)
I want to be better... and its not even hard.. but the will of not arguing with people is... the will of stopping to gossip around is.. actually its not hard,.. but I choose to keep on doing it.. :( .. That's why I feel bad.. And those are just minor stuff that I've done no-good (Aww, cho-cho) what about other things? Well, I dont (have not? dear God,please make it a "never") do MAJOR bad things, but sometimes small things do matter eventually when you accumulate, right?
But for now...
Alhamdulillah, Thanks Lord for blessing me much more than I deserve.